It is only now, after reading Chambers article entitled: “Where do I belong?” Canadian Curriculum as Passports Home,” that I ponder the question “where do I belong?” Growing up, I always though I knew where I belonged, but now I realize I was completely lost. As some of you may know by now, I grew up in Kitigan Zibi, a small native reservation approximately two hours north of Ottawa. This is where I belonged, or so I though. My grandfather always stressed to my mother the importance of being bilingual, and so when time came for my sister and I to go to school, my mother enrolled us in a French speaking elementary school in the small town called Maniwaki. The small town in which I allude to is at an extreme close proximity to the reserve. In fact, Kitigan Zibi borders Maniwaki. The last name “Whiteduck’’ is not common, and it was not common back then. When people heard our last names, they automatically knew we were from the reserve. The distinction became more apparent in High School. Racism is not a foreign notion in Maniwaki, and often my sister and I would be subject to racist comments. On one occasion I was told: “We don’t like the people from the reserve, but you and your sister are alright because you speak French.” At the time, I did not know how to react or respond to such comments and ignorance. At our annual Family Day Picnic on the reserved, I was stopped and asked by a fellow teenager what I was doing at a reserve event. I kindly asked: "what do you mean, I live here?" To which I was told: “You don’t belong here, you’re a French girl.” To be honest being called a “ French girl” did not really bother me. See my father is French and my mother is First Nations. What truly bothered me was the fact that I was told I did not belong in Kitigan Zibi. The truth is, it seemed I did not belong anywhere. I was not accepted by my peers in high school, and my reserve did not acknowledge me as a community member.
My family, in particular, did not practice the culture of our ancestors. While my grandmother and mother spoke our native language, they did not pass these teaching on to my sister and I. It is important to understand that our language and teaching were highly frowned upon and it is for that reason that my mother did not pass on our traditional teachings. Things did change, however, after I graduate High School. Both my sister and I wanted to learn more about our culture. That year, my sister participated in the Miss Algonquin Nation contest and won first place. Unfortunately, I was not able to participate because the following year, the contest was cancelled due to lack of participation and funding. After graduating Cegep, my desire to learn my native language grew, and ever since, my grandmother has been teaching me. I can understand and I can also speak (a little). It is also after I graduated Cegep that I became a more active community member. I participated in Band Meetings, I worked for Kitigan Zibi Health and Social Services, the Tribal Council, and Kitigan Zibi Administrative Sector. I also worked for four years in a row at the Summer Day Camp. Although I have been extremely busy for the past five years, I continue to remain an active community member. I volunteer at the annual Family Day Picnic and I continually try to encourage the youth of my community to pursue higher education. So "where do I belong?" I belong here. Although I am not well-traveled, and although I have not experienced a great deal from other cultures and ethnicities, I have a great sense of who I am and where I belong. One day, I might visit Paris, Rome, Italy, Greece, downtown Ottawa, but until then I am happy with my achievements, and what I have learned from my community and my peers.
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